I can't tell you how many times that has been repeated to me. I'm most of the way through my orientation weeks of mind numbing amounts of paperwork, training modules, managing labor and delivery emergencies and resuscitating babies. I kind of got that doing a pretest of a couple multiple choice and one day of blitzing through CPR on babies isn't really going to make me a neonatal intensivist, yet regularly the staff are reminding us that at a rural site, it might be just us. Just me as the primary physician?! Maybe don't come into hospital for a few more years. I still can't believe there may come the day when I'm the most senior person on.
On another note, today the captain left back for Ontario. I'm devastated in some ways, but relieved in others. This feels like a finale and a fresh start, rather than the tentative past few days of we-know-it's-ending-but-it-hasn't-sunk-in. I've planned to do a little St. John's trapezing on my own, especially The Rooms. I hate exploring museums with other people, it's rather like someone reading over your shoulder. I also intend to get some personal time with the botiques downtown.
But I miss him. I'm missing him desperately and not knowing when I'll next see him. In nearly 6 years of being together we've never been more than a month apart. We've been lucky that way, I guess.
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